Scatbug's Scatterings

Obama Digs the Corps

2008-04-26T11:15:00.000-07:00

That sound you just heard? 'Twas nothing but thousands of active and retired Marines throwing up.

Here's the story, if you even care. Imagine with me the telephone conversation made to secure that t-shirt:

Um, hi...This is Allie Jenkins. I'm with the Barack Obama campaign? Do you...um...sell...you know, military t-shirts?

Cool...I'm looking for one that has the letters U. S. M. C. Do you have something like that?

You do? Excellent. And if you don't mind, my boss, like, totally threw this task at me at the last minute. So I don't even know...What does, or...um...do those letters stand for?

[Gasp] Really?? Wow. That's like totally...wow. Well, anyway...What about colors?

That's it? Just gray? My boss said something earth tone, or sky blue...

Oh. I see. At least it won't clash, I guess. Okay...One last thing. What about the material? We'd like to get something made from fair trade organic hemp if possible.

Bummer, man...But do you know anything about the factory in Bangladesh?

Why are you laughing?

Oh. [giggle] Right. [giggle] Everything's a cause...psst! [whisper] Don't tell anyone I said that.

[giggle] You're very cool for a dude who sells military stuff.

[giggle] That one was like totally over my head. [giggle] Anyway...It is like so past the start of happy hour. I guess I'll go ahead and take the gray in an extra-large.

Wha...? Just one is fine. I can't imagine the Senator needing any spares.

Hmm? Oh...Yeah. We're heading to the Stagger Inn. Do you know it?

Cool. We'll be there about 6ish. So absolutely...Drop by.

Sure. Uh...Let's see. I have brown hair and will be wearing...

How did you guess? It's pink tie-dyed, and his head is like this cool rain foresty green. The back has "Endless Revolution" printed in this really cool, like, old school commie font.

The back? Oh...I guess it's just...you know...a figure of speech, or something...So I'll see you there?

Rockin'. And yeah, bring the shirt. But don't wear one!!

[giggle] No, you perv [giggle]. I meant a USMC one!...Anyway, just my lame-o sense of humor.

[giggle] Right...I'm much funnier in person [giggle]. Smart ass [giggle]...So you're thinking 7:00 or so?

Cool. Yeah, me too. We'll see you then.

Jesus, the Son of...an unknown assailant, possibly of Roman origin.

2008-04-23T09:55:00.000-07:00

The director of Basic Instinct, heretofore known for introducing Sharon Stone's crotch with the world, is writing a book. It's about Jesus and puts forth a...um...alternative theory of his conception. Via FoxNews...

In his upcoming biography of Jesus, "Basic Instinct" director Paul Verhoeven will make the shocking claim that Christ probably was the son of Mary and a Roman soldier who raped her during the Jewish uprising in Galilee, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Curiously the story neglects to mention the swarms of Methodist ministers and Franciscan nuns rioting and calling for the author's severed head. Perhaps CNN reports on that angle. Regardless, I for one hope Mr. Verhoeven continues to live a productive life. He has movies yet to make, and Sharon Stone's not getting any younger.

Our Holy Redeemer?

2008-04-22T12:46:00.000-07:00

Caroline Glick, writing in today's Jerusalem Post, has the money quote of the presidential campaign to date:

"Opponents of [Hillary] Clinton claim that she is a soulless woman who will do whatever is necessary to have power, because she likes power and wants it. But if this is true it is hard to see why a power-hungry president is worse than a president who believes that he is the people's redeemer. It is hard to see why a leader who wants power because she likes power is less reasonable than a president who thinks he has a right to demand that the American people follow his lead and fix their souls in the name of unity. In the former case, opposition to the leader is a policy dispute. In the latter case, it is apostasy.
"When someone wants power for power's sake, that person tends to be fairly pragmatic. In his first term of office, when former president Bill Clinton - another consummate pragmatist who liked having power - understood his wife's healthcare plan was about to be defeated overwhelmingly by Congress, he shelved the plan and cut his losses.
"A messianic wouldn't do that. When a messianic leader is faced with failure, his tendency is to castigate the people, or his political opposition, or the media as evil and to continue on unmoved and bring his country down with him. President Woodrow Wilson's unpopular and unsuccessful championing of US membership in the League of Nations and former president Jimmy Carter's wooing of American enemies in the name of peace are examples of what happens when messianic redeemer types are confronted with reality.
"So with this distinction between the two senators in mind, the question is, how will a President Hillary Clinton or a President Barack Obama respond after being shown that appeasement of the Palestinians has once again failed and that appeasement or deterrence of the Iranian regime has also failed once again? Given their distinct emotional makeup, it can be assumed that Obama will argue that reality is wrong and continue on - Carter-like - into the abyss and drag his country and Israel down with him. Acting in a Clinton-like way, Clinton on the other hand, would be more likely to pick a fight with Serbia - or call for a federal ban on chewing tobacco in a bid to change the subject.

I'll add a big...uh...amen to that. Oh, and I suppose the standard "read the whole thing" exhortation is appropriate.

Playing the age card

2008-04-18T13:49:00.000-07:00

Hot on the heels of his command performance in the April 16 Pennsylvania debate, Barack Obama powerfully refutes accusations about his association with another controversial figure....

I was only 26 years old when that Brawley thing happened.

I was only 30 years old when that Crown Heights Riot thing happened.

I was only 34 when that Freddy's Fashion Mart thing happened.

Flipped out

2008-04-18T12:35:00.000-07:00

I suppose the proper reaction of a sober-minded and serious blogger to the latest Obamadrama should be a general tsk-tsking joined with a lamentation of the state of our political discourse. Rest assured that if I find such a blogger, I'll include the link.

My immediate purpose, on the other hand, is to post the story below and allow you to join me in a good, old-fashioned guffaw over the shambles which has become the Democratic presidential nominating process.

From FoxNews:

Just when you thought the Democratic race couldn’t get uglier, Barack Obama is being accused of giving Hillary Clinton the finger at a town hall meeting in North Carolina.
The gesture — which may have been an innocent scratch of the face or, according to some, something more mischievous — came as Obama was complaining Thursday about the debate in Philadelphia the night before.
Bloggers were quick to note that as the Illinois senator scolded his Democratic rival for her performance at the debate, he raised his right hand and scratched his cheek with one finger. That finger.
“This is one of those political moments that really needs few words,” wrote the Los Angeles Times in a blog. “He’ll no doubt deny it later, but that mischievous smile seems to confirm plenty. And the crowd sure sees something.”

And now, the photographic evidence:

Bong hit beatitudes

2008-04-12T17:11:00.000-07:00

Well the topic of the weekend seems to be Barack Obama stepping in some rhetorical doggie pooh. I actually found his comments on the bitter religious gun nuts populating our Republic unremarkable and not the least bit surprising. You see I've been following the Illinois Senator pretty closely since the summer of 2006. So I found yesterday's "gaffe" to be perfectly in line with my impression of him. In other words, what he said yesterday in San Francisco was nothing new, and his comments in no way contradicted what he really does think about Americans and American politics.

The best example I have that demonstrates the consistency of his political philosophy comes from a puff piece the Chicago Sun Times ran in October 2006. The piece highlighted Obama's deep thoughts on deep things as expressed in his blockbuster book, The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream. I have reproduced highlights from the article below. I want to stress, so that it is perfectly clear, that these are Senator Obama's own words and thoughts. They are not, I repeat NOT, the scribblings of a college sophomore showing the effects of 27 bong hits. And so I present the musings of Senator Barack Obama:

On democracy and values:
"In a country as diverse as ours, there will always be passionate arguments about how our democracy works. But our democracy might work a bit better if we recognized that all of us possess values that are worthy of respect: if liberals at least acknowledged that the recreational hunter feels the same way about his gun as they feel about their library books, and if the conservatives recognized that most women feel as protective of their right to reproductive freedom as evangelicals do of their right to worship."

On his guiding principle:
"I find myself returning again and again to my mother's simple principle -- 'How would that make you feel?' -- as a guidepost for my politics. It's not a question we ask ourselves enough, I think; as a country, we seem to be suffering from an empathy deficit.

"We wouldn't tolerate schools that don't teach, that are chronically underfunded and understaffed and underinspired, if we thought that the children in them were like our children. . . . And it's safe to assume that those in power would think longer and harder about launching a war if they envisioned their own sons and daughters in harm's way."

On political ideology:
"I reject a politics that is based solely on racial identity, gender identity, sexual orientation, or victimhood generally. I think much of what ails the inner city involves a breakdown in culture that will not be cured by money alone, and that our values and spiritual life matter at least as much as our GDP."

On phony politicians:
"Nothing is more transparent than inauthentic expressions of faith -- such as the politician who shows up at a black church around election time and claps (off rhythm) to the gospel choir or sprinkles in a few biblical citations to spice up a thoroughly dry policy speech."

On foreign policy:
"Why invade Iraq and not North Korea or Burma? Why intervene in Bosnia and not Darfur? Are our goals in Iran regime change, the dismantling of all Iranian nuclear capability, the prevention of nuclear proliferation, or all three? . . . Perhaps someone in the White House has clear answers to these questions. But our allies -- and for that matter our enemies -- certainly don't know what those answers are. More important, neither do the American people."

On his first impressions of President Bush:
"I had found the president to be a likable man, shrewd and disciplined but with the same straightforward manner that had helped him win two elections; you could easily imagine him owning the local car dealership down the street, coaching Little League, and grilling in his backyard -- the kind of guy who would make for good company so long as the conversation revolved around sports or kids."

On many Americans' yearning for spiritual connection:
"They want a sense of purpose, a narrative arc to their lives, something that will relieve a chronic loneliness or lift them above the exhausting, relentless toll of daily life. They need an assurance that somebody out there cares about them, is listening to them -- that they are not just destined to travel down a long highway toward nothingness. "If I have any insight into this movement toward a deepening of religious commitment, perhaps it's because it's a road I have traveled."

Reality-based education

2008-04-09T12:45:00.000-07:00

Via Michael Goldfarb, the Carnagie Mellon student newspaper, the Tartan, offers this picture of higher learning:

While the crowd was indeed diverse, some students at the event questioned thepractices of Mrs. Obama’s event coordinators, who handpicked the crowd sitting behind Mrs. Obama. The Tartan’s correspondents observed one event coordinator say to another, “Get me more white people, we need more white people.” To an Asian girl sitting in the back row, one coordinator said, “We’re moving you, sorry. It’s going to look so pretty, though.”
“I didn’t know they would say, ‘We need a white person here,’ ” said attendee and senior psychology major Shayna Watson, who sat in the crowd behind Mrs. Obama. “I understood they would want a show of diversity, but to pick up people and to reseat them, I didn’t know it would be so outright.”

And so one college student comes to grips with the true meaning of "diversity."

Le jackass

2008-04-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

Look. What the Chinese have done to Tibet over the past half century or so is truly abominable. And certainly keeping world attention focused in a squirm-inducing fashion on the ChiComs is a good thing. Unfortunately, however, the sorts of people engaging in many of the public protests seem little removed from the rock hurling/window bashing delinquents seen outside WTO meetings. I suppose they must want Tibet to be free not to engage in international trade agreements. Anyway...Get a load of this AP photo from Paris today (via FoxNews):

Now as you may have heard, protesters in London over the weekend, and today in Paris, have been stalking the Olympic torch as it is relayed from Greece to Beijing. In a few instances, a "Free Tibet!" partisan has snatched the torch from an official carrier's hand and extinguished the thing. Until today a Bic or Zippo has been handy to get the procession on its way again. (In response to the intensity of the protests, French officials have shut down the relay in Paris. Analysts believe this may stem from rumors of German-speaking arrestees or perhaps an unintended consequence of recent state-enforced smoking bans.)

But getting back to the photo, notice the position of the torch bearer. She's the one in the center holding the torch. She's also sitting. In a wheelchair. Here's to hoping the gendarmes gave the attacker (exiting frame, right) an extra kick in the ribs. And here's to also hoping this jackass lives with unending humiliation over being bested by 100 pound disabled woman.

I think I've seen this one before...

2008-04-06T11:06:00.000-07:00

Interesting...An Iranian outfit called "NGO - Islam and Christianity" plans to produce a film to answer Geert Wilders' Fitna. It seems those involved in this project want to document for the world the faults and crimes of Christianity. Some detail:

The Iranian organization called 'NGO Islam and Christianity' started production of the documentary after the Dutch lawmaker displayed his movie which urges Muslims to tear out "hate-filled" verses from the Qoran and starts and finishes with an insulting cartoon of Prophet Mohammad (Peace Be Upon Him).

The NGO's documentary called 'Beyond Fitna' deals with incitement of violence in the Bible. Muslims believe that the book deemed holy by Christians today is a distorted version of the original Bible.

'Beyond Fitna' focuses on the orders given to worldwide Christians in the (distorted version of) Bible for stoking violence, committing genocide, attacking others, beheading and burning women and children who have been taken into captivity.

The documentary recycles film clips from crimes committed by extremist Christians under the inspirations of the said Bible teachings, and aims to provide a response to the allegations made by Pope Benedict XVI, who called Islam a religion of violence after misunderstanding certain Organic verses.

Powerful stuff. I imagine their first step in the project's research phase will be to open a Netflix account in order to use the roughly 1,784,672 anti-Christian films made in the West over the past four or five decades for artistic inspiration. (Although they should skip the DaVinci Code. BOOOORRRRING!!)

(via Jihad Watch)

Paging Dr. Pig...Paging Dr. Ape...Please report to the ER

2008-04-03T08:03:00.000-07:00

Time for a fun round of News Story Juxtaposition...

Exhibit 1 is a Reuters story from Tuesday April 1:

Hamas TV puppet "kills" Bush for helping Israel
GAZA (Reuters) - Brandishing "the sword of Islam", a Palestinian boy stabbed President George W. Bush to death in a new puppet show for children aired by Hamas-owned television in the Gaza Strip."You are a criminal, Bush, a despicable man. You made me an orphan. You deprived me of everything," said the hand-held puppet, representing a child and accusing the U.S. president of killing his family in Iraq and in Gaza in collusion with Israel.
The program was broadcast on Hamas's al-Aqsa television, which has used puppets and cartoon characters in the past to illustrate the Islamist movement's battle against Israel and opposition to U.S. support for the Jewish state.
No one was available at the station to comment on the show.

Lovely. All that's missing was the obligatory "Jews descend from apes and pigs" exhortation so popular in the Palestinian community.

I should point out, however, that a root cause may explain, at least partly, the anger and vitriol Palestinians aim at their Jewish neighbors. It's a problem which, according to some American presidential candidates, even plagues working families in the United States: access to affordable health care. Exhibit 2 (from March 31) explains:

Sick Gazans die in "avoidable tragedies": WHO
JERUSALEM (Reuters) - Israel has turned away more sick Palestinians from Gaza seeking treatment since Hamas seized control of the enclave and several have died each month unnecessarily, a U.N. agency said on Tuesday.
The World Health Organization (WHO) said Israel denied entry permits to 18.5 percent of patients seeking to leave the Gaza Strip in 2007 versus 10 percent in 2006.
In December 2007, 36 percent were denied permits compared with 8.5 percent in December 2006.
The WHO said the number of applicants and the percentage of those turned away surged after Hamas Islamists seized control of Gaza in June, the crossing to Egypt was closed and Israel tightened restrictions on the enclave.
Israel could not provide figures for how many sick Gazans were granted travel permits last year. A senior defense official denied the system caused unnecessary death, but said Israel was wary of would-be suicide bombers using illness as a cover.
Shortages of medicine, equipment and trained medics, which local officials blame on Israeli restrictions, mean advanced health care is virtually non-existent in the Gaza Strip.

If you want to search the article for the sentence, "Leaders of Arab countries swimming in petro-dollars could not be reached for comment," or perhaps, "EU officials expressed outrage over the billions in Palestinian aid squandered or unaccounted for," don't bother.

Anyway, the point here is that taken together, the two articles provide a near perfect summary of the Palestinian-Israeli divide. In 2005, Israel ceded control of the Gaza Strip to the Palestinian Authority (PA), even evicting Israeli citizens from Gaza settlements at gunpoint to ensure complete withdrawal. Since then, in lieu of looking after its citizenry, the PA allowed terrorist organizations such as Hamas to launch thousands of rockets indiscriminately into Israeli population centers. In 2007 Gazans voted into power Hamas to administer local affairs. Of course Hamas is very open in its desire to destroy Israel, and as many Jews as possible in the process. To keep the body politic focused on that goal, all public discourse in the Strip is geared toward, as it were, negative campaigning against Israel (see Exhibit 1). Meanwhile, Israeli hospitals have continued to treat approximately 80% - 90% of Gazans seeking medical care, with a low point of about 65% in December 2007 when relations with Gaza were at a...um...low ebb (see Exhibit 2). The "international community's" conclusion? Israel is at fault for the "avoidable" deaths of people bent on its obliteration.

Question: Whose fault will it be should it come to pass that Palestinians can't find some nice Jewish doctors to take care of them?

Excuse me. Can you recommend a good Zionist pediatrician?

The shoe, the other foot, and the blacklist

2008-03-27T07:32:00.000-07:00

Consider this plot line from a film currently under development: Powerful figures consumed with greed, engage in nefarious schemes and seek to silence underdog critics through intimidation and blacklisting.

Hmmm, you say. Could it be...

A story of shadowy government figures waging a covert war for oil and the plucky/smokin' hot whistle blower out to stop them? Nope.

A cautionary tale of soldiers who dared speak the truth about American war atrocities and the plucky/smokin' hot reporter who gave them a voice? Not even close.

Oliver Stone's yet-to-be released bio-film of ~~a plucky/smokin' hot~~ George W. Bush (working title: Nixon, The Sequel)? Good guess, but no.

Enough of that...No, the plot line above is roughly that of a screenplay (and the concomitant controversy) in the works about the Sundance Film Festival, Miramax Films, and the murky world of indie movie making. The script is based on a book by Peter Biskind entitled, Down and Dirty Pictures, which supposedly offers the not-so-pretty truth about Robert Redford, Harvey Weinstein and other Hollywood A-listers. Apparently the book did not go over well with the people who care about such things. Since I am not one to be included in that group, I won't try to judge whether the book's critics are on the mark. And actually, the book's (and the potential film's) veracity makes no difference to me, and is secondary to the point of this post.

Rather, the goal here is to frolic in the fun of some old-time Hollywood hypocrisy. I'll let foxnews.com entertainment writer, Roger Friedman, do the heavy lifting. Since his short article on the subject is too priceless to chop into standard blogbits, I've pasted the whole thing below. My favorite passages are highlighted. As you read through the piece, ask yourself the following question: "Is this how the Bush Regime fascists treat film artists producing works critical of them?" (Yeah, I know you know the answer, but humor me and ask it anyway.)

Hollywood Assassination: Secret Screenplay 'Exposes' Indie Film World
There’s a secret screenplay going around Hollywood for casting, but it’s not likely one of the major players will touch it with a 10-foot pole.
The script is for a film version of Peter Biskind’s critically panned, much-loathed,
bitter "expose" of the Sundance Film Festival and the indie film world called "Down and Dirty Pictures."According to the script, it’s written by a newcomer named Joshua James and will be directed by someone called Kenneth Bowser. The listed producer is Kevin Scott Frakes and the film company that’s going to make this thing is Palm-Star Entertainment.
But really, the movie these people should have made is called "You’ll Never Eat Lunch or Any Meal or Ever Work in This Town Again."
That’s because Biskind’s book was unkind and inaccurate appraisal of the Sundance Film Festival, Redford and the old Miramax Films, including the Weinstein brothers.
Biskind, I’m told, is taking the stance that he’s "horrified" by the making of his book into a movie. But on the Palm Star Web site, he’s quoted: "Behind the cameras with the giants of the indie film scene in the 90’s was almost as exciting as what was in front of the cameras. It’s a subject that demands to be made into a feature film."
Well, Biskind is wrong. No parodies of Hollywood ever have been successful or even partially interesting to the general public, with maybe the exception of Robert Altman’s "The Player." Otherwise, the audience is not even remotely compelled to figure out what’s going on. Witness the recent debacle of turning Art Linson’s memoir, "What Happened Next," into an unfunny comedy starring Robert DeNiro.
When it debuted, ironically, at Sundance, no one laughed. It still has no distributor.
Those who’ve seen the script for "D&D" say that Redford, Weinstein and many other key Hollywood power players are depicted — and none too kindly. What are these Palm Star people thinking, really? This is the kind of idea that sounds good late at night but should have been dismissed the next morning.
And who would you hate to be more? The actor hired to play Redford or Weinstein? They have to be the least-desired parts ever offered for casting, with the exception of Mark David Chapman in the new John Lennon assassination film, "Chapter 27."

Goodness me. That last graph is especially frightening. I wonder if Benicio del Toro had that problem on his two latest projects (here and here).

China gets it right (sort of)

2008-03-23T08:38:00.000-07:00

The Chinese government lashed out at critics today, with the bulk of the Red blast aimed at US Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. When analyzed with a clear and sober eye, there's really not much to argue with. From the AP:

China Lashes Out at Critics Over Tibet Crackdown
The official Xinhua New Agency, meanwhile, published a commentary bashing Pelosi, a fierce critic of China who on Friday visited the Dalai Lama at his headquarters in India, where she called China's crackdown "a challenge to the conscience of the world."
Xinhua accused Pelosi of ignoring the violence caused by the Tibetan rioters."'Human rights police' like Pelosi are habitually bad tempered and ungenerous when it comes to China, refusing to check their facts and find out the truth of the case," it said.
"Her views are like so many other politicians and western media. Beneath the double standards lies their intention to serve the interest groups behind them, who want to contain or smear China."

Again, how can one possibly disagree that Speaker Pelosi is "habitually bad tempered" or that we are all out to smear the ChiComs and contain their ideology within its current border?

Anyway, Xinhua offered photographic proof to bolster their view of Pelosi's bad temper:

Others photos were provided in a press release to further document Ms. Pelosi's "unstable imperialist personality", including bewilderment with complexity:

...abuser of hallucinogenics:

...and as weak and frail as a Bulgarian grandmother:

Evil

2008-03-21T16:57:00.000-07:00

After my wife and I were married in 1991, we settled down in the sleepy old river town of Alton, Illinois, about 15 miles north of St. Louis. We loved our seven years there: an easy going pace, beautiful old homes, stunning views of the Mississippi from high on the bluffs, and history galore (e.g., Lincoln and Douglas debated there and Father Jacques Marquette stared in wonder at the Piasa Bird in 1673.)

But Alton can be a pretty rough place for a city of 30,000, with more than its share of drugs, gangs, and drunken biker dudes roaring down the streets. Seriously...The place is a biker gang haven. Our first apartment overlooked the main drag and one of the main biker bars. (Imagine us on a hill looking down on the bar about 100 feet below.) As was typical one summer night around 1:00am, the bar closed and the roar of Harleys split the night quiet. Suddenly we heard the thunk of heavy metal hitting pavement. I looked out our bedroom window and saw a guy sitting in the middle of the street next to his overturned motorcycle. Apparently he had simply fallen over sideways. He rose, ambled over to the curb, and sat down. Not 30 seconds later a car pulled to a stop at the bike, as it was blocking the street. Two men got out and exchanged words with the biker, who remained at his perch. Both parties waved in a what I interpreted as a sign of agreement. The two men then righted the bike and pushed it to the curb, aside its recumbent owner. Handshakes were exchanged and the men drove away. A few minutes later, the biker righted himself and roared off in the direction of Godfrey, where the bars stayed open til 3:00. (I suppose colorful would be another apt adjective in describing Alton.)

All of that is just a bit of background to one of the most horrific stories I've had the displeasure of reading. No more commentary. I'll let the AP take over:

Torture death shocks Ill. town

ALTON, Ill. - Banished to the basement, the 29-year-old mother with a childlike mind and another baby on the way had little more than a thin rug and a mattress to call her own on the chilly concrete floor.

Dorothy Dixon ate what she could forage from the refrigerator upstairs, where prosecutors say housemates used her for target practice with BBs, burned her with a glue gun and doused her with scalding liquid that peeled away her skin.

They torched what few clothes she had, authorities say, so she walked around naked. They often pummeled her with an aluminum bat or metal handle.

Dixon — six months pregnant — died after weeks of abuse. Police have charged two adults, three teenagers and a 12-year-old boy with murder in the case that has repulsed many in this Mississippi River town.

[...]

[Police Lt. David Hayes] watched the autopsy and found her injuries disturbing. X-rays revealed roughly 30 BBs lodged in her. Deep-tissue burns covered about one-third of her body — her face, her chest, her arms and feet — and left her severely dehydrated. Her face and body showed signs of prolonged abuse. Many of her wounds were infected.

None of the injuries, Hayes said, proved singly fatal to Dixon. Her system already was taxed by her unborn baby.

"The autopsy sort of indicates her immune system just shut down," he said. "It was not capable of fending off any more."

Evil. Pure, simple evil. No other word fits.

Meanness Personified

2008-03-20T14:37:00.000-07:00

Late afternoons at the Scatmanse are spent relaxing, with me reading and the scatlings watching a video, coloring, running with scissors, etc. Today we enjoyed the wacky yet educational antics of Cookie Monster, Kermit, Grover and the other fuzzy wuzzy characters of Sesame Street. This particular DVD was a collection of songs and skits from the 1980s, the decade being obvious from the tight pants and mullets of the human characters. (To digress into a review of sorts, the bit with Robert MacNeil interviewing Cookie Monster, is pure comedy gold. The subject is "Cookiegate", in which Cookie Monster stands accused of eating Susan and Gordon's cookies. Kermit plays the smarmy lawyer whispering answers to his client. My kids wonder what the hell I'm laughing at. Alas, it seems the clip has been removed from YouTube.)

Anyway, the video has a segment of "People in the Neighborhood". Bob of course sings, meets various professionals and incorporates their jobs into the song. In this offing, the guests are Martina Navratilova (tennis), Barbara Walters (news correspondent) and Ralph Nader (consumer advocate). Yes, I agree that the "People in the Neighborhood" genre must have been reaching the end of its run on Sesame Street when this particular version was taped. But that's not the point here. Rather, let's focus on Ralph Nader's portion of the song. During the idle chit chat that always weaves its way into the presentation, Ralph offers a compliment to Bob on the snazzy red cardigan he's wearing. Bob replies that his aunt Mertle made it for him. "Well, has it been tested to make sure it's made properly?" asks Ralph. He then proceeds to yank off a sleeve, pop off all the buttons and scold Bob with, "Aunt Mertle knitted you a lemon".

At this point my daughter (aged 4) turned to me:

She: He's mean.

Me: Who?

She: Him. He ripped Bob's sweater. He's very mean.

Me: Yes dear. He is indeed.

Would you buy a used sweater from this man?

Questions are raised

2008-03-19T08:49:00.000-07:00

Not sure what to make of this, but I read somewhere that in an early draft of his Big Speech yesterday, Barack Obama referred to his grandmother as a rich, white (and possibly Jewish) banker who denied loans to blacks. Some analysts believe that the description may simply have been a margin comment left by one of Obama's proofreaders. But nonetheless, the rumor is intriguing.

Barack Obama's "A More Perfect Union" speech has raised questions about the depths of his grandmother's racism.

Oh oh, I know...It starts with M. Right?

2008-03-05T08:13:00.000-08:00

Time for the Multiculturalism Guess That Word game! Below is a news story from the Daily Mail of London, as posted on FoxNews.com. Read and study it carefully. Then see if you can guess the one missing word that would provide clarity and meaning to an otherwise mushy exercise in multicultural Newspeak.

Good luck!

U.K. Eyes Forced Marriages in Students' School Absences

More than 30 children have been absent for at least two months from school rosters in an English city and officials fear they may have been forced into arranged marriages, The Daily Mail reported on Wednesday.

The 33 students have been absent without explanation from schools in Bradford, located in northern England, which The Mail reports has a substantial Asian population.

"It is a serious concern when any child, any single child, becomes unaccounted for," said Children's Minister Kevin Brennan, who on Tuesday released the findings before the Commons Home Affairs Select Committee, which is probing forced marriages in at least 14 other areas of the country.

A spokesman for the department of children, schools and families said forced marriages have been reported in Bradford, but there is no evidence the children in question had been forced to wed, The Daily Mail reports.

A Bradford schools spokesman said it is possible the children’s families had moved away and their parents failed to register them at their new schools, the story reports.

Three years ago the government instituted the national Forced Marriage Unit to combat "an abuse of human rights and a form of domestic violence."

Laws are going into effect this summer to let victims obtain court injunctions against anyone attempting to force them to marry, The Daily Mail reported.

In responding to the Bradford figures, Committee Chairman Keith Vaz said in The Mail story: "The figures you have given us quite frankly have shocked members of this committee just in relation to Bradford. This is totally unsatisfactory."

Still stumped? This photo from the Daily Mail provides a subtle hint...

Bonus question...Why does a Western nation need to have a national "Forced Marriage Unit"? (Yes. The answer does indeed relate to our missing word.)

The Obama Experience. It's transplendid!

2008-02-25T09:46:00.000-08:00

Even though I intend, through shear willpower and dint of character, to avoid ever attending one of Barack Obama's old time revival and gospel testifyin' showcases, I have often nonetheless wondered how I would react if placed in the middle of such an event. In fact just the other day I envisioned seeing Him with a liberal friend of mine serving as an escort. Naturally in my musing, questions arose: What emotions might surge through me when the Promised One speaks of hope, change, and...um...other cool stuff? How would I react to the whole scene? Would it change me? Would it heal my soul (H/T Michelle Obama)?

Deep questions indeed, as I'm sure you agree. Fortunately the medium of film has a ready answer to them. A mere five minute scene from Woody Allen's Annie Hall provides all of the insight I need to understand the Obama Experience and those who dig it.

In the scene, Alvy Singer (played by Woody Allen) is on a date with Pam (Shelley Duvall), a hippy-dippy reporter for Rolling Stone. Pam drags Alvy to a concert/event put on by the Maharishi. Here's what transpires (Sorry...Couldn't find the clip on YouTube):

Pam: I think there are more people here to see the Maharishi than there were to see the Dylan concert. I covered the Dylan concert ... which gave me chills. Especially when he sang:

She takes just like a woman
And she makes love just like a woman Yes, she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl.

(They move toward the aisles as a guard holds up his hands to stop them)

Up to that I guess the most charismatic event I covered was Mick's Birthday when the Stones played Madison Square Garden.

Alvy: (Laughing) Man, that's great. That's just great.

Pam: You catch Dylan?

Alvy: (Coughing) Me? No, no. I-I couldn't make it that ni…My…My raccoon had hepatitis.

Pam: You have a raccoon?

Alvy: (Gesturing) Tsch…A few.

Pam: The only word for this is transplendid. It's transplendid!

Alvy: I can think of another word.

Pam: He's God! I mean, this man is God! He's got millions of followers who would crawl all the way across the world just to touch the hem of his garment.

Alvy: Really? It must be a tremendous hem.

Pam: I'm a Rosicrucian myself.

Alvy: Are you?

Pam: Yeah.

Alvy: I can't get with any religion that advertises in Popular Mechanics. Look-

(The Maharisbi, a small, chunky man, walks out of a door, huge bodyguards flanking him while policemen bold back the crowds)

There's God coming outta the men's room.

Pam: It's unbelievably transplendid! I was at the Stones concert in Altamount when they killed that guy, remember?

Alvy: Yeah, were ya? I was...I was at an Alice Cooper thing where six people were rushed to the hospital with bad vibes.

The Connection

2008-02-25T09:11:00.000-08:00

By way of introduction, the name's John and I'll be posting here on topics covered by approximately 3.8 million other bloggers. I am nothing if not original.

So...Let's get started. The photo below will remain on this blog until even Barack Obama gets it. I call it The Connection. If you have any doubts as to why we are fighting in Iraq, study this image closely. No, I'm not claiming this proves Saddam Hussein was in on the planning meetings. Although rumors do exist of his weekly lunch dates with bin Laden at the Happy Jihadi Cafe and Tapas Bar (now a Hooters) in downtown Baghdad. However, Hussein certainly appears pleased with the results, and has the expression of someone with a sense a pride over what the painting depicts. (And before you even say it, no, the painting is not a Karl Rove original. He's always had trouble sketching the human form, limiting himself to still-lifes and landscapes.)